Breaking Frame
Stepping Outside Your Stories
You know the feeling. Something happens, and suddenly you're caught in a loop-ruminating, anxious, stuck. The story you're telling yourself feels like the only story. You're inside the frame.
The Inspiration
The name comes from John Vervaeke's "Awakening from the Meaning Crisis"-a lecture series exploring how we make meaning and how we get stuck. Vervaeke draws on cognitive science, philosophy, and contemplative traditions to show how our "frames" (the ways we interpret situations) can trap us or liberate us.
The core insight: we don't just have thoughts-we're often caught in them. The frame feels like reality, not like a perspective.
Breaking Frame is a practice for noticing the frame, stepping outside it, and choosing how to relate to your experience.
Why We Get Trapped
Vervaeke's research on "relevance realization" explains why we get stuck-and why wisdom is so hard to achieve.
Relevance Realization
Your mind constantly filters reality, deciding what matters and what doesn't. This is necessary-you can't attend to everything. But it means you're always inside a frame, seeing some things while others stay invisible.
Self-Deception
The problem is that our very intelligence can trap us. The frame that helps us make sense of a situation can also blind us to alternatives. Vervaeke defines wisdom as refining relevance realization to overcome this self-deception.
Breaking Frame is a practice for wisdom-training the capacity to notice when your own intelligence has trapped you, and creating conditions to see differently.
The ACT Foundation
While the exercise draws on cognitive-behavioural techniques, its heart is closer to Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT):
Cognitive Fusion
When we're fused with a thought, it feels like The Truth. "I'm a failure" isn't a thought-it's reality.
Cognitive Defusion
When we defuse, we see the thought as a thought. "I'm having the thought that I'm a failure." Same words, different relationship.
Breaking Frame is a defusion practice. You're not changing your thoughts through willpower-you're changing your relationship to them.
How It Works
The Situation
What actually happened? Not your interpretation-the observable facts.
The difference matters. The first is already a story.
The Story
What did you tell yourself about what happened? This is the frame you're inside.
"She doesn't value my contributions"
"I should have presented it better"
"I'm never going to get promoted here"
No judgment. Just notice what your mind did with the situation.
Stepping Outside
With AI guidance, you apply a technique to see the situation differently:
- Self-distancing: What would you tell a friend?
- Reality testing: What evidence supports or contradicts this?
- Perspective multiplication: What's another interpretation?
- Temporal distance: Will this matter in 5 years?
- Stoic dichotomy: What can you control vs. what can't you control?
The Wisdom
From this calmer, less fused space-what do you see now?
"When I feel dismissed, I can pause before assuming intent"
"I'll follow up on tabled ideas rather than letting them die"
"My worth here isn't determined by any single meeting moment"
This wisdom becomes something you can return to.
Why "Breaking" Frame?
Vervaeke uses "breaking frame" to describe moments when our usual way of seeing suddenly shifts. It's related to insight, to "aha" moments, to what the Zen tradition calls kensho. In his 4 P's framework, this is perspectival knowing-knowing what a situation is like, sensing what's salient.
Most of the time, we can't force these moments. But we can create conditions for them:
The exercise doesn't guarantee insight. But it reliably moves you from inside the frame to observing the frame-and that's often enough.
What This Isn't
Not positive thinking
We're not replacing negative thoughts with positive ones. We're not saying "look on the bright side" or denying that something is hard.
Not thought suppression
We're not trying to stop thinking or push away difficult feelings. ACT is about acceptance, not avoidance.
Not therapy
If you're dealing with clinical anxiety, depression, or trauma, please work with a professional. This is a self-reflection tool, not treatment.
When to Use It
Breaking Frame works best when you're:
It's for the everyday moments of being stuck-not acute crisis, not chronic conditions.
The Practice
Like any skill, this gets easier with repetition. The first few times might feel mechanical. Over time, you start catching yourself mid-story. You notice "I'm in a frame" before you've spent an hour ruminating.
That's the goal. Not to never get caught-that's impossible. But to notice faster and choose your response.
Try Breaking Frame
Step outside your stories. Find new ways to see what's happening. Start the practice.